My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
