He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
