do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
