some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
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