Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
In the officer's defense, I was indeed pantless at the time he cuffed me, but there's a perfectly good explanation.
Randomize
