after a month anything with tits is on the radar
only you would photoshop your dick
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She has the best kind of daddy issues
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
