Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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