youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
At least be KIND OF sobering up before you text me, I've told you before I don't speak vodka unless I've been drinking it with you.
PS WHY wasn't I drinking it with you? Dick.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize