if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Randomize
