some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
