He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
