I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you would pick up someone in the library
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
