loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
