I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
