He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
