Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
