Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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