wat bout pragnant strippers??
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
