Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Randomize
