peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Randomize
