I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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