Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Randomize
