bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Randomize
