lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Randomize
