babies were throwing up all over the place
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
