The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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