Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
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