it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
