If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
Do vagina's smell?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
