Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
