Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
