Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
