You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
