The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
