ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
i'm having taco bell mild sauce and tums for breakfast because i'm hungover and thats all i can find. it's like thanksgiving up in here
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
