nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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