It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize