You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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