chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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