ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
