Do you still have your period?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
