just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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