What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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