i was rollin on her like bob the builder
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I understand Curling. That high.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
