suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
