I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize
