That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Your penis caused this!
Randomize
