You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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