walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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