nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
