Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
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