i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
