So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize