4 words: hood of his car
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
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