There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
