I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize