found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
