That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
