NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
