WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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