I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
