True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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