I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
Randomize