marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
Randomize
