im on my way to getting "i just graduated college with no money, no job, and no plan" drunk
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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